As October is LGBTQIA+ History month, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk about my own journey to discovering my sexuality. If you haven’t guessed already this is my official coming out post. I am bisexual and to be honest a part of me has known this since I was quite young. For the past few months I have contended with ways to talk about this part of my life, to convey the momentous journey I have taken towards discovering and accepting my bisexuality.
From the age of 11 I knew I wasn’t heterosexual, however due to growing up in regional Victoria I found myself lost and confused. The general view of regional areas at this time was that if you weren’t straight you didn’t talk about it so my limited knowledge of sexuality primarily came from what I saw on TV and what I heard from other kids.
Until I was 13 I only knew about being straight and gay as that is all that was talked about, though neither of these labels seemed to fit. When my peers talked about girls I simply couldn’t understand what they were going on about. How could a girl be more attractive than a boy? This is when I tried to find my answers online, however this only made things more complicated as I discovered sexuality is far more fluid and diverse than being straight and gay.
All of this searching for answers took a real toll on me mentally and by the time I was 14 I actually had more questions than I begun with so I decided to give up and try to move on with my life. Though the questions never completely went away, there was always a constant reminder whenever people asked me things like if I had a girlfriend or who I was attracted to. This was my life until a few years ago when I began to question my sexuality again, but this time I persisted until finally I found the answers I had been looking for. I could finally confirm that I was indeed bisexual and that I feel attraction towards my own gender as well as others.
I am not going to lie the last few years were difficult as I struggled to figure out why I was having such a hard time understanding my sexual orientation. It did take a mental toll on me at times, however I did finally figure out the last piece of the puzzle which ended up being my limited understanding around attraction and love.
Up until April this year I didn’t fully understand the complexity of attraction and love as no one had ever told me and everyone just assumed I knew. My understanding of these terms came from the internet, movies and tv which always portrays the love at first sight scenario, or claim that “you will just know” when you fall in love. These views led me to believe that attraction was a simple and easily recognisable feeling. I now know this isn’t true and that attraction and love are very complex feelings that change depending on a relationship.
Today I tell my story in hopes it can assist others going through a similar experience, to reassure them that they are not alone. Today I also promise that I will be an active advocate in the neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ space, to ensure we are included in conversations around inclusion, services and education. This does mean you will begin to see more LGBTQIA+ related content on the Bryce Pace – Autism Advocate socials and website and you will hear me talk more about this part of my life at events as I begin to embrace this part of my identity.
I know this news may come as a surprise to some and you may have questions. I encourage everyone to leave these in the comments below and I will endeavour to answer as many as I can. If you are currently questioning your sexuality or you are a fellow LGBTQIA+ autistic please feel free to connect with me. I would love to hear from you.
I would like to finish this post by thanking everyone for your support and also for following my journey over the past 6 years. It means so much to me to have such supportive followers of my work and I look forward to sharing with you my future work as I move forward in advocating for Autistic LGBTQIA+ individuals and those on the Autism spectrum in general.
Thank You
Bryce Pace
Autism Advocate, Consultant, Speaker
